Sunday, December 22, 2019

312 10

Matt and Mark review the Dudley Moore classic 10, a mid-life crisis film with a more manic honest depiction of sexual irrationality of the 40 year white male than our previous Blame it on Rio review. Can you ever really live a fantasy? Probably not, and 10 makes that argument in genuine comedic fashion. The brain has the odd prediction for overestimating an experience despite one's better judgement. Was Bo Derek all that? Matt and Mark ponder... a Playboy model, yes, but what about those corn rows? hmm... 

Download: 312 10

Wednesday, December 4, 2019

311 Blame it on Rio

From Mark's "The Great T!ts" film catalog, we review the 80's sex comedy "Blame it on Rio." In this film the "ancient" 47 y.o. Michael Caine has an affair with the nubile daughter of his best friend and as you would expect... hi-jinks ensue. What could have been an honest potrayal of the obligatory mid-life crisis episode ultimately fails in this film (resulting in its 5% RT rating), however it does beg one to wonder, would anyone make a movie like this now? It's hard to say. With free 24/7 HD streaming pornography one wonders if this type of VHS-rewind-for-the-odd-boob-shot is necessary anymore. Perhaps nostalgia reigns supreme for Blame it...

Download: 311 Blame it on Rio

Saturday, November 16, 2019

310 Stalker (1979)

Matt and Mark review the Tarkovsky Soviet-style Sci-Fi film Stalker. A film that introduces the "The Zone", similar to that of the recent Annihilation's "The Shimmer", is an alien anomalous zone arrived via meteor to the planet Earth. A journey into The Zone promises revelation and wish fulfillment, but sadly this film only delivers "elliptical" conversations embedded in Tarkovsky father's poetry. Meant to be a sublime journey into meaning, Stalker could have done more with the less it had to work with (in Matt's opinion). Perhaps worthy of 1.5 hours instead of the 2.5 it runs, it challenges the viewer. It's definitely not intended as entertainment (sadly), a fun romp it is not.

Download: 310 Stalker (1979) 

Thursday, October 31, 2019

309 Vampire's Kiss

The poster says "A biting comedy", but the comedic is a little sketchy with the odd intentions of this particular Nick Cage descent-into-madness story. Matt and Mark complete our Paranormal Cage theme with Vampire's Kiss. A little American Psycho, it offers up an asshole, complete with strange effete non-accent, and then let's us ride along as he spins out into a homeless vampire of a delusional existence. For whatever reason, it's a watchable weird film and a new/old take on Goth LARP'ing.

Download: 309 Vampire's Kiss

Tuesday, October 15, 2019

308 The Wicker Man (2006)

Bees!!! Matt and Mark continue our "Paranormal Cage" theme with the much maligned/beloved bad movie remake of the sinister 1973 titular classic. As fans of the original, we both ponder why this version is such a failure. Yes there's the goofy bear scene, bees, and odd punching-the-lights-out of forest wandering women, but there's something at the core that fails. Matt speculates that unlike the original, where things are not what they seem, in this version you're served up pagan cult weirdos as soon as you get off the sea plane. Sadly, where horror once worked, farce now reigns.

Download: 308 The Wicker Man (2006)

Tuesday, October 1, 2019

307 Drive Angry

We're back for our run-up to Halloween. This go 'round we're thinking "Paranormal Cage", and to begin our offering, we review a film that's near and dear to our hearts: Drive Angry (Shot in) 3D. Why? Well, one of our good friends not only was the art director but had the privilege of getting his sandal-wearing ass killed by diabolical leader Jonah King! While no doubt a Cage paycheck film, it is a well wrought 'B' movie with all your typical camp: there's a sex-gunfight, schemes of satanic child sacrifice, and then there's Cage's hell jailbreaker bringing it all back home. And tying it all together is a superbly fun William Fichtner as the Accountant.

Download:  307 Drive Angry

Sunday, August 25, 2019

306 Valley Girl

We're back (finally) and it's time to wrap up our "young lust" theme with the 1983 cult romance classic Valley Girl starring a young Nicholas Cage. A movie the breaks out from the teen-sex swamp of like genre films of the era, VG's character-driven story arc elevates it above the common Porky's-type drivel. Still with a dose of ample 80's boob shots, it has a little for everyone. Mark and Matt both agree it falls apart in the last 3rd of the film as it delves into the realm of silliness and cop-outs (violence doesn't really solve anything... it really doesn't... come on, this isn't Rambo folks). Oddly inspired by the titular Zappa hit, the linguistic impact of the era is not to be understated.

Download: 306 Valley Girl

Tuesday, July 16, 2019

305 Before Sunrise

The penultimate entry into our "Young Lust" theme, this go 'round we review the Linklater Gen X love letter Before Sunrise. The first in the "Before Trilogy" we get off the train with Celine and Jesse for a night on the streets of Vienna. Matt works to give life to Mark's cold dead heart, and finds a few bits and pieces of Before Sunrise that lifts his current Morrissey fog. A film made over 25 years ago, the "simpler time" element is more in contrast than ever, a time before the slums of our current internet age befouled the purity of human-on-human interaction. While we know what becomes of Celine and Jesse in later entries to their story, Matt still appreciates this tattered Harlequin romance novel that is Before Sunrise's male wish fulfillment, while Mark? ... not so much.

Download: 305 Before Sunrise

Thursday, July 4, 2019

304 Romeo + Juliet

We continue our "Young Lust" theme with the crazy-ass Luhrmann joint Romeo + Juliet. Yes it's Billy Shakespeare (kind of), but the frenetic images and neck-snapping cuts overwhelm to a point that uptight Bard-heads may find "le'essence" diminished. Mark and Matt are not of that camp. An adaption for the MTV-video-games generation? Sure. But what the hell. Despite the R n' J focus, the film shines with its supporting players, specially Tybalt, Mercutio, Father Lawrence and the Nurse. So let's head off to our Sophomore English class shall we and enjoy some star-crossed love action.

Download: 304 Romeo + Juliet

Sunday, June 23, 2019

303 The Dreamers

"Young Lust" continues with our review of  NC-17 rated The Dreamers from 2003 by Bernardo Bertolucci. Matt and Mark get into the world of the over-heated Paris apartment's artificial realms of cinema, sex, and sibling co-dependence. Heavily driven by the nostalgia of the chaotic Paris streets of 1968, it's hard not to see why the Bohemians of this era champion this film. However, there's something stranger and darker going on that's hard to comprehend. While having unending sex with Isabelle (Eva Green) for days on end sounds enticing (well, at least for dudes), the creepy monitoring of her brother Theo is the price Michael pays. So off the map is this strange trio, the mere act of asking someone out on a date breaks the status quo.

Download: 303 The Dreamers

Wednesday, June 5, 2019

302 The Blue Lagoon

Our "Young Lust" theme rolls on with the odd-ball Rater R teenage sexual exploration movie The Blue Lagoon. There's a lot of things that The Blue Lagoon isn't, which may be it's problem. It's not an adventure story and it's not a steamy sex drama, leading to a confused movie going audience. What is it? A Disney-esque Cinemax cross-over and neither? Allegedly faithful to the 1903 book, its problems may lie in its true-faith adaptation of the original Victoria novel (which may have not been very good). Even Brooke Shields conspicuously placed hair frustrates the viewer. Regardless, the cinematography shines through even though everything else seems to pale (and shrivel).

Download: 302 The Blue Lagoon 

Friday, May 31, 2019

301 Say Anything

Matt and Mark start our "Young Lust" theme with the classic Cameron Crowe late 80's teen romance film Say Anything! Why do all Gen X women love Loyd Dobbler? Why? Because he's an absolutely nearly perfect good guy with few/if-any flaws. Everyone loves Loyd and he loves everyone, despite his minor if negligible personality quirks like the "talking thing" and the obligatory adolescent aimlessness that was the hallmark of a generation. And at the end, we all cheer Diane's reunion with Loyd, because if she hadn't taken him back, we could collectively agree she's the worst human being on the planet. 

Download: 301 Say Anything

Friday, May 10, 2019

Bonus Episode #4

Matt is back from Scotland and it's time for our centennial bonus episode now that we've completed our 300th film review (sort of). A mixed back of discussion topics that are meandering at best. Hold fast and you'll get our last 100 episode recap. Hopefully we'll be around for a bonus episode in 2021! Hope you've had as much fun listening to us as much as we've had talking about movies for the past 7+.

Download: Bonus Episode #4

Monday, April 8, 2019

300 300

Stop! Sparta-time... This week we review the obligatory 300 for our 300th podcast. Every one of our prior episodes like a fallen Spartan at Thermopylae, buff, ripped, free, and bloody. A perfect exercise in the notion of style-over-substance, 300 delivers a healthy plate of jingoism and old-timey masculinity to pump up our inner Conan the Barbarian. What is it about the "few against many" theme? Not sure, but suffice it to say the Spartans weren't your typically boot-strapping citizen soldiers. Atop a slave-fueled pyramid scheme, Mark and Matt ponder King Leonidas of Sparta's "freedom" rallying cry. I suppose everything's relative (and not exactly fair) in love and war.

Download: 300

Saturday, March 30, 2019

299 Apocalypto

This review we go pre-Columbian with the Gibson action-chase film Apocalypto. Despite the criticism of its classic period Mayan portrayals, Apocalypto is a violent action film akin to modern fair. Why set it in during the Mayan fall? Why not? Despite it's odds-and-ends of Meso-american history, it commits no greater sins than your average sword and sandals epic. What Gibson shows us is something no one has ever seen in Hollywood films. Ever wondered what it might be like to be atop a Mayan period during an eclipse? Apocalypto gives you a peak, and for what its worth, it is distinctly memorable.

Download: 299 Apocalypto

Saturday, March 16, 2019

298 Hard Target

We get around to finally putting out another podcast, and this time? The Woo/Van Damme joint Hard Target! Complete with doves, sub-machine guy dude on dirt bikes.. this film has it all for those pining for a Cajun flavor Hong Kong actioner! Can we dismiss Van Damme's Belgian-Cajun creole and Wilfred Brimley's only known un-codgery film role? Yes we can! If you like a boot kick to the head at 40 mph hour along with class-warfare themes, order up some Hard Target!

Download: 298 Hard Target 

Saturday, March 2, 2019

297 Enter the Dragon

"Wwwaaaah! Chewaaaah!" Time to Enter the Dragon with our Seattle homey Mr. Bruce Lee! Even though heavily borrowed from similar spy tropes, Enter the Dragon was daring in its marketing. While kung fu theater was a Hong Kong staple, bringing it into the US mainstream required a multi-prong (and multi-racial) tact that brought out Mr. Lee's savvy. "A white guy, a black guy, and and Asian guy walk into a bar/death-ring tournament..." Unfortunately Mr. Lee's pioneering legacy still has a long way to go. Asian leading men in the US mainstream are still absent for the most part some 45 years later, much to our detriment.

Download: 297 Enter the Dragon 

Thursday, January 31, 2019

295 Fire and Ice

This go 'round we review the Bakshi/Frezetta joint Fire and Ice from 1983. For its time, a solid outing by the sorta like 'em/hate 'em Bakshi (Cool World anyone?). Crutching heavily on Frazetta's muscular fantasy exotica, the look of the film and its rotoscoping bring to life the static comic book "je ne sais quoi." Matt laments the luke warm relationship with adult themes and animation while bemoaning the silly look of today's live-action comic book fair. We both take a nostalgic journey into the sci-fi book cover art of yor, discussing our favs. While not to be left out, the mall standard Thomas Kincaid (painter of light) is given his due credit for his pre-historic matte work on F&I. Sadly, his fantasy contributions never usurped his twee cottage themes beloved by grandmothers in middle-America.

Download: 295 Fire and Ice

Tuesday, January 22, 2019

294 Krull

Matt and Mark review the 80's sci-fi/fantasy fusion film Krull! Diametrically opposed, Matt and Mark square off about what Mark liked and Matt did not! A highly derivative epic, Krull attempts to mash-up the tropes of high fantasy classic quest with something a little more Star Wars. Does it work? Despite its many stumbles of illogic and poorly sketched motivations, Krull is a well-filmed and produced popcorn movie with a decent set of supporting characters and a few trippy set pieces. Nostalgia may have been Matt's greatest enemy here, while Mark enjoyed it for what is... whatever that may have been.

Download:  294 Krull

Monday, January 7, 2019

293 Two-Lane Blacktop

It's Matt and Mark's 7th Anniversary of doing the podcast, and for this go 'round we finish up with our 70's car movie theme with the artsy Two-Lane Blacktop. With a set of steamy hunky rock n' rollers racing about in a built out 55' Chev, this is as American as it gets... or is it? TLB has been debated as a 'metaphor' due to the sparseness of its character sketches (if they can even be called sketches at all), but what they're a metaphor for and what archetypes they represent are not obvious or clear. In the end, we don't really know these characters other than what meaning we graft on to them. Despite it's subtext, the film captures the early 70's zeitgeist of the post-Love era, which if anything, is an interesting cultural time more and more alien to us 21st Century folks.

Download:  293 Two-Lane Blacktop

Tuesday, January 1, 2019

292 Death Race 2000

This go 'round Matt and Mark continue our 70's car movie them with the campy Death Race 2000. Like a macabre Cannonball Run, DR2K takes place in a futuristic dystopia where the sweaty masses (somewhere off-camera) are appeased by the breads and circuses of the titular race. Does it make any sense? Not really, but we go with it anyhow. Composed of farcical racers and their campy race cars, one can help but be reminded of far better fair in Swarzenegger's Running Man, specifically when it comes to production value. Matt takes issue with lack of geographic framing (no St. Louis does not have a Mediterranean climate and rolling coastal mountain ranges) while Mark highlights some of the film's more nonsensical nonsense. Perhaps more salient in the early 70's than it is today, DR2K remains entertaining high concept.

Download: 292 Death Race 2000